Collide by L.R. Johnson

COLLIDE - L. R. Johnson

Collide by L.R. Johnson is an example of verbosity at its worst. Where was an editor to eliminate the overly flowery language that went on and on? I recommend this entire book for the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.

 

Examples of overused words: rage = sixty-two times, pathetic = twelve times, vigorously = twenty-nine times, toxic = twelve times, and dilapidated = eight times.

 

Lauren Cowley is an unlikable twenty-one-year-old protagonist. She comes across as an immature, spoiled brat. She has unusual visions and is magnetically pulled toward, yet repelled by Donovan, a mysterious man who peers into her soul.

 

And as for grammar "collapse" is something that falls down. To the best of my understanding, you don't "collapse up". "The excruciating pain pouring out of him hits me like an avalanche flowing over me, causing me to collapse up against the same portion of the stone wall Donovan is leaning against."

 

"...taking over my quivering, catatonic body." Something catatonic or immobile, shouldn't quiver.

 

I struggled to finish reading this and was ready to scream at times, not from fright or fear, but frustration at having the same concepts repeated. Here is an example: "They are completely white, other than small pupils in the center of his eyes, like the irises have been completely bleached out." This was repeated at least four times in slightly different wording.

 

I gave this book almost three stars.

 

I received a complimentary Kindle copy from HAWAII Way Publishing and NetGalley. That did not change my opinion for this review.

 

Link to purchase: https://www.amazon.com/COLLIDE-L-R-Johnson-ebook/dp/B01IJCK8LQ